Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old young man from the country. I came to Kingston to be the gardener at my uncle's home. He works with the government. I have my own room and bathroom. Since I have been in Kingston, I became friendly with my uncle's helper. She is 30 and has two children. She lives with her children's father but likes me.

One day she came to my room to call me. When I opened the door, she peeped in and said the room looked like a pig sty. She told me she would clean it up for me. That day after she finished doing her work, she called me to open the door and I did. She went in and cleaned the room. I felt ashamed at the condition of the room. She also took my dirty clothes and sheets on the bed and washed them. I always wash for myself. She warned me that she is going to check on the room every now and then to see if I am keeping it clean. So, from the time she cleaned it, I have tried my best to keep it tidy.

Pastor, she is very fat and I like fat women. I told her I liked her. She told me she has her man already, I am a boy and can't handle 'it'.

Another time, she told me one of her children was ill and she wanted to borrow $5,000 from me. I gave it to her. After two months, I told her I was going to the country and needed the money to give my mother.

She said she didn't have it and was hoping I wouldn't have bothered to ask her for it, but she could give me something for it.

I asked her what, and she told me sex. I was afraid to tell her I had never had sex, but I laughed.

Another day I asked her for the money and she told me she was on the last day seeing her period, so later on in the week she would give me sex for the money.

When the time came I was so nervous because she is an older woman. When she took off her clothes I began to tremble. She tried to calm me down, started to play with me and helped me to put on the condom. She pulled me on her and told me I was doing foolishness.

I was so ashamed, but she promised it to me again. Now, I feel sorry that I had agreed to have sex with her. I don't feel I got my money's worth, but it is not her fault. I don't plan to have sex with her again. She is an woman for me and living with her children's father. I still love her and she is still cleaning my room when my uncle and his wife are not there. I would like to hear what you have to say. I always read the Star and listen to you on the radio.

V.E.

Dear V.E.,

Learn to keep your room clean. You can do that for yourself. You do not need this woman to be cleaning your room. Wash your own clothes and bed linen, etc. She shouldn't be doing that for you. Don't give your money to that lady. She is a grown woman. She is taking advantage of you. She sees you as a naïve and sheltered young man.

You should not have agreed to have sex with her as payment for the money you gave to her as a loan. You made a big mistake, but you cannot demand that money from her again. This woman will get you into trouble if you fool around her. She may even tell lies on you, to your uncle and his wife, and they may just ask you to go back to the country. Do your work and stop playing around with this woman.

Pastor