Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you and I need your help. I got married two years ago but my husband works on a ship so we do not see each other often. Before I became a Christian, I had different boyfriends. And although I did not live with any of them, I went out often. My roommate and I didn't get into each other's way. She took guys home and they slept over and I took guys home.

After I became a Christian, I stopped doing these things and I met the man I married. But, pastor, I am not getting enough sex so I used my fingers until I was tired. And now I am using a vibrator. I could cheat on my husband and he wouldn't know. Some of my old boyfriends are encouraging me to cheat. But I don't want to do so.

I went to a women's meeting at my church and the counsellor was a woman. She was asked by another married woman, whose husband is away and is in a similar situation as myself, about using the vibrator. The girl wanted to know whether it is a sin to use a vibrator. And the counsellor said that Christians should not use these things. I felt guilty, but an older woman in her 40s who lost her husband spoke up and said that she uses one and she doesn't see anything wrong with it. Some of the women kept silent, while others were whispering to each other. So pastor, I am writing to ask you if it is a sin to use the vibrator.

Faith

Dear Faith,

I am not prepared to condemn any woman who uses sex toys. Some men who have had to be away from their wives have bought sex toys for their wives and have encouraged them to use them to satisfy themselves. The Bible doesn't address everything. Therefore, counsellors should be careful not to be dogmatic and to pass judgement on matters of this sort.

Frankly, if you feel comfortable using your vibrator, I would not at all make you feel guilty. However, I understand that when one gets accustom to using the vibrator and other sex toys, the habit becomes very difficult to break. You may find that when your husband returns you may continue to have the desire to use the vibrator, because no man can create the sensation this toy can create.

Pastor