Dear Pastor,

I pray that God will continue to bless and keep you. I am 17 years old. Stress and problems with guys seem to be my best friends. I want to settle down and find a true love of my own; one who will love and respect me for who I am. I am now dating four guys; one my age, one 24, one 25 and the other 19 years old. The one my age hardly gets my attention but we do talk and his mom really loves me. I don't feel like I love the 24-year- old when I am not around him. Every morning he would text me to see if I am okay and ask me if I ate and stuff like that. He just always finds time for me even when I don't have any for him. His parents really love me. They treat me as their own.

The 25-year-old is in another relationship. He only calls when he wants to see me. if not, I don't hear from him and my heart tells me that every word he tells me is a lie. I do love the 19-year-old but he has changed. He doesn't text me if I don't text him and the most he says is, "k, cool and hush". He doesn't even answer my calls anymore and has no time for me.

Pastor, please, you have helped a lot of young girls and so I trust that you can help me.

C.S

Dear C.S.,

How did you get into this mess? What I am asking you is, how did you come to be involved with four men at the same time? At present, do you feel that you need all these guys in your life? Which one of these guys do you love the most? It is not possible for you to love each of them equally. By the process of elimination, drop the guys one by one and ask yourself which one you feel that you cannot do without.

Do you have to have the 17-year-old in your life? What grade would you give him? The 24-year-old guy seems to care a lot about you although you hardly have time for him. Why don't you care for the 24-year-old young man who truly cares about you? Do you really believe that you must have a boyfriend right now?

I hope you wouldn't get angry with me, but truthfully a 17-year-old girl should not be so obsessed with men or sex. She should try her very best to concentrate on her lessons and, if you don't stop running around you will develop a very bad reputation. I am sure you have heard people say, "Girls can't do what the men do and still be a lady". It's unfortunate that people think that a guy can have as many women but a girl has to behave but its reality. It's the way we have been cultured.

There is no need for you to have so many guys in your life, neither is there a need for you at 17 to be talking about settling down. You need to have clean social relationships and not taking on any special guy as your boyfriend, so drop all these guys and focus on your lesson.

Pastor