Dear Pastor,

I am in a relationship with a 30-year-old man who is always accusing me of cheating. This man made me into a cheater. When I wasn't cheating, he would always say I am. I am a nurse and he was always hearing stories about me and doctors. Even when I was pregnant, he kept questioning whether the child was his.

After I had my baby, I started going to the gym. A men who was working out at the gym had eyes on me. One day he gave me his number and asked me to call him. I did. We became friends. My babyfather kept talking about this cheating business. finally, I made up my mind, not to bear the name and not play the game. I had sex with the guy. I never had sex with any of the doctors but I had sex with another man. who helped me out with some money. I made sure I went home on time.

I am having a problem because I don't like my child's father anymore. the two guys had sex with me have their women. I have been trying to see if I can find another guy but, so far, I have not been lucky. Those I like are all taken.

I was in love with my child's father before I got pregnant but this constant accusation of cheating turned me off. I can't get back to the place where I love him. Sometimes when he wants to have sex and I say, "leave me alone", he gets very upset, so I try not to say that. I think the only way for me to get over this problem is to leave him. I am thinking of going to Canada. I would like to hear from you.

S.T

Dear S.T.,

I don't need to comment on the accusations you had to bear from your boyfriend, even when you were not cheating. It is unfortunate, though, that you over reacted and eventually cheated, with not one but two guys. You have come to the place where you do not love your child's father anymore. If you believe there is a possibility for reconciliation, you may suggest to him that both of you go and see a family counsellor. If you do not believe there is any hope for reconciliation, you might as well move on.

Would this man continue to talk about cheating if he receives professional help? I cannot give you assurance he wouldn't. It seems to me you would like to have another man in your life and are looking around but those you love are taken. If you do not wish to continue the relationship with this man, you should go on your own and wish this man well. Perhaps after a period of separation he will try to get you back, or you may come to realise you should go back to him.

Pastor