Dear Pastor,

I am 40 and I got involved with a man who is 45. I have never loved a short man but there was something about this man that caught my attention the very first time I saw him. He was smooth and confident and just charming. He didn't behave as short men often do. He was not pushing up himself and seeking attention. When the opportunity came for us to speak he asked me for my number, but he did not give me his. He told me he would call me.

When two weeks passed and I did not hear from him, I didn't forget about him but I wondered why he didn't call. When he eventually called, I asked him what happened why I did not hear from him and he said two weeks was not a long time for a man to ponder whether he should call or not call somebody he just met. He wanted to know how I was doing and whether I would love to see him, and I told him I would love to meet with him again because I would love to get to know him better.

We planned a date and to my surprise, he was chauffeur-driven and well dressed. He took me to an expensive restaurant and told his chauffeur that he would call him when he was ready. Pastor, I found out that this man was much more than I could handle. He did not talk about himself unless I asked him questions. I was doing most of the talking. He had an infectious laugh. He told me that he would like to get to know me better so after spending about two hours with me he called his driver and dropped me home.

The next time he invited me out I told him that he should drive his own vehicle and I would love to go dancing. He agreed, and you should see that man dance. I wanted to spend the night with him but he was not interested. How could a man be single and not interested in spending a night with a girl who indicated to him that she wanted to have sex? I wondered if he was all right.

We had four dates before he decided that we should go further. We had fun but our relationship could not go further because on our third date he told me that he was married but separated from his wife but was on the verge of making up. When his wife and himself decided to make up and she was returning home he gave me enough money to pay two months' rent.

Why is it that all men can't be like this man? I have a boyfriend now but he cannot walk into the shoes of this man.

Disappointed

Dear Disappointed,

This man treated you with respect and he did not lie to you. He could have done so. He even helped you financially. He is back with his wife. Wish him well. You have a man and I hope that this man would learn to take care of you. Let me hear from you about what progress you have been making. By the way, whether a man is short or tall his height has nothing to do with how he treats a woman.

Pastor