Dear Pastor,

I am 17 and just graduated from high school. My mom and I live together. That has been from I was a child. I have only seen my father three times. My mother is a dressmaker and in her 50s. I did eight CXCs and I failed one.

I have a boyfriend. My mother doesn't have a problem with it. She recently got a job and works two days per week. I met another man who is 50. He treats me like his daughter. He doesn't want me to have a boyfriend. I told him I love my boyfriend. Since I told him, he has refused to talk to me.

What should I do? I love my boyfriend but also love this man, because he gives me everything I ask for. He cares for me but, at this point, I will have one boyfriend. I will 18 in two months. Please give me some advice.

Teenager

Dear Teenager,

Thank God for your mother who has taken care of you without the help of a father. It must have been difficult for her, supporting you alone. You have to be proud of her and try your best not to do anything that could cause her to be disappointed.

You are fortunate she is not against you having a boyfriend, but I am sure she will not be pleased to know you have become entangled with a 50-year-old man, while having a relationship with the younger man.

You said this 50-year-old man gives you anything you want, but he is asking you to end the relationship with your younger boyfriend. Perhaps you are reluctant to do so, and the older man has ended the relationship. Now it is bothering you.

Some people might condemn the older man for having a relationship with you. They may say he should go look somebody in his age group. Many women, however, find older men to be caring and helpful, but at least this man is not forcing you to stay with him.

What he doesn't want you to do is to use him by getting his money and, at the same time, maintaining a relationship with the younger man, so he has walked away.

You have to determine what you really want to do. Whether you want to stay with the younger or older man. The choice is yours, but do not allow anyone to tell you which way to turn.

If you have a good relationship with your mother (evidently you do), you can let her know there is a man who is 50, who loves you, and you would like to get her opinion.

Pastor