Dear Pastor,

I am 42 and having a problem with my husband. We have been married for 10 years and have two children. Of late, my husband has been cheating on me. I found out by washing his briefs. I saw that his briefs were bloody. I washed it but questioned him. He said he did not know what had happened. I became concerned and told him he should go to the doctor. I didn't think my husband was cheating.

I wondered whether he had passed blood. I called a friend of the family, who is a doctor, and told him what I had observed. He asked whether my husband had complained of feeling pain. I told him no. When my husband came from work, I told him what I had done. He was furious. He said I should not have called the doctor because nothing was wrong with him, and he would not go to see him.

The doctor called him, because he was a friend of the family, and asked if all was well. He told the doctor, yes, and he would talk to him. To this day, he has not gone to see him. I found out later, by reading a few of his text messages, that he was having a relationship with a 19-year-old girl, and had taken her virginity in my car. He is denying he is having an affair with this girl. I told my husband to come clean.

I will not leave my husband for cheating on me, unless he continues to do so. My mother left my father after he cheated, but regretted it many years later.

C.J

Dear C.J.,

You're a wise woman. At first, you were concerned that your husband might have been suffering from some internal illness. So you were seeking medical attention for him, but it was not long after that you discovered his reluctance in agreeing to see the doctor was due to the fact that he had cheated and his partner was a virgin.

It must have been tough for you to come to grips with the fact that he had sex with another woman in your car. I hope, however, that both of you see a family counsellor. Try to rebuild the good relationship you have had over the years.

Pastor