Most Jamaicans experience sexuality for the first time through dancehall music. A lot of how we look at various issues is shaped by the lyrics of our favourite song or the sentiments from our favourite artiste. Sexuality is well represented in the music at varying levels of raunch. For the most part, some things are pretty consistent. Sex must be between a man and a woman; man can have plenty women; women must have one man; abortion is a huge no-no, and mama is queen. When it comes to some other topics that are usually considered taboo - like oral sex, freakiness, threesomes - the climate seems to be changing. In the 90s, all of these activities were considered off limits but lately, we are seeing a change of opinion - or are we?

With songs lyrics like "Freaky gal a dem gal deh mi love" and "dung inna, dung inna yuh troat" among others, it is clear that dancehall has not only accepted women expressing themselves orally, they applaud it. The male artistes have expressed in varying ways how much they enjoy receiving fellatio. Gone are the days when the song "hands up, gal from yuh know seh yuh never bow" was the sentiment of the populous. No, in part thanks to Vybz Kartel, men are acting like they are entitled to oral attention during every sexual encounter.

The flip side of this new found liberation and sexual openness is one-sided. Because the same men, who want women to bow to the mighty sword, are offended at the thought, the mention of them returning the favour. "Nuh Gal Caan Siddung Pon mi Head" and "Nuh py Caan Suck Pon di Gaza" are just a few examples of how the men in dancehall feel about giving their women oral pleasure. Apparently, there seems to be a clear divide with how men and women see 'oral sexpression'. There is even a bigger divide when it comes to who's doing what. Most women say they have had the experience and would love to enjoy the pleasure even more. While a large cross section of men say that they do not, nor will they even indulge in such an act. This is a puzzle because if so many women have the experience and so many men say they don't do it; either someone is lying or there is a small but busy group of men secretly fulfilling the ladies oral needs.

At the end of the day, I will advise that you make your own decision when it comes to what you do sexually. It's none of the dancehall's business if you want to indulge in oral delights. Also, just because the lyric is in a song, doesn't mean the artiste lives by the message. So just live your life and be happy. Have fun and stay sexy.

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