Hey, guess what! I saw some more nonsense on Facebook the other day. But, dah, what's new? I'm sure I could bet on seeing some new nonsense on that site every single day. That's why, for the sake of my sanity, I don't visit that site every day. No, I'm serious, I don't [OK, alright! maybe just every other day].

The particular little bit of nonsense to which I now refer, is a series of posts that put two things into uncalled-for contention and then asked Jamaicans, at home and in the diaspora, to pick one. Yeah, man, somebody with a little much idle time has decided that it's a great idea to create unnecessary war between similar or otherwise- related items and ideas.

For example, you're invited to vote in a contest featuring tin mackerel against corned beef, or cheer in a championship match-up involving bulla and pear versus bun and cheese. And those things bother me much because, for one, I just hate choices.

Yeah, I'm weird like that. Each time I see these silly little contests I start thinking here we go again with these blasted 'BBCs'! And, when I say BBC, I'm not alluding to the British Broadcasting Corporation. And it doesn't mean either, that it's just some 'Big Bad Cloth' I really want to cuss. Well, at least not all the time. No, I'm actually referring to what I like to call our 'binary bound concept' - that idea that everything has to be divided into two distinctly different and usually opposing parts, and everybody is required to love-up one side and bun out the other side.

two-way division

My problem with this confounded binary-bound thing is not so much due to the two-way division of everything, but more to the burdensome expectation that I have to chose 'either or'. My scholarly and poetic friend Klyde Broox loves to say we need to focus more on 'and also' and focus less on 'either or'. And I agree totally.

JLP and PNP

Ah mean, seriously, why I have to deny mackerel in order to big-up bully beef? Why it can't be the two of them? Hear mi nuh man, I love my tin mackerel and I love corned beef [and when hurricane lick and light gone indefinitely, all a unnu who gwaan like unnu nuh no love dem, tend to quickly re-discover the affinity]. So instead of either corned beef or tin mackerel, I want to have tin mackerel and also corned beef. And if you present me with the JLP and PNP, I can no longer think 'either or' because one is terrible and also the other! Ah so me see it. When it comes to corruption, dem goodly tie fi first!

When I'm given two options, my choice is usually both. Well, not always of course, it depends on what the options are. I sometimes choose neither. Or I usually linger in the middle, my favourite place, that's why if you show me a knock-kneed lady and a bow-legged lady and ask which I choose. I would have to say 'in between'. Hehehehe!

And, oh, if you're arguing about the wickedest comedic Jamaican Youtube personality and want me to choose between Dutty Berry and Kevin 2 Krazy, well, my obvious choice would be 'Wally British'. Yeah, man, I absolutely love how she does what she does. You too?

And guess what! I'm sharing stage with her at Comedy Café in Kingston tonight, tonight! I'm so looking forward to it. Yeah, hilarious crowd favorites Ity & Fancy Cat will be there, along with Leighton Smith and Mixing Lab, plus Apache Kid & Sarge, but is Wally British me a really go fi go si. Unnu nuh waan come join mi? Come nuh!

And box-mi-back@hotmail.com