Love songs, romantic comedies and even friends keep telling me that 'opposites attract'. While that's fine for the quiet person who finds the loud person attractive but what about real passion or deal breakers?

The belief that opposite attracts always puzzles me because I think it's more important to choose a partner where you have more similarities than differences. Throughout life, we develop interests in various things and some of these things become very important to us. When choosing a partner, it's critical to your relationship that you choose someone you can share your passion with. He/She may or may not feel the same way about your interests, but he/she must be willing to at least participate just to support you. If your passion is a deal breaker, then you must find someone that you can share it with. So what are you passionate about? How does your partner feel about it? Here are some opposites that would be challenging to navigate in a relationship:

Social Butterfly and the Introvert

If you love to go out and your partner loves to stay in, this will eventually become a source of conflict. A friend of mine is miserable in her relationship now because her partner is happy in front of his TV. So, when she wants to go to the movies, he tells her that they can watch it at home, which only serves to annoy her because to her, going to the movies is not just about the show itself, it's am opportunity for them to get out of the house.

Very Religious and Atheist

Religion is more than a passion for some people. It's a way of life. So if your union is important to you, it makes sense to choose someone who is like minded.

'Foodie' and Picky Eater

This is a tricky mix because food is necessary for nutrition. But for the person who is more interested in food for the whole experience, being with someone who doesn't eat most things can prove challenging. Especially since they may want to share.

Adventurer and Homebody

Perhaps the most popular combination of opposites, the adventurer wants to try new things and be spontaneous. Trying to coexist with someone who is not interested in doing much can be frustrating.

Miser and Shopaholic

The Internet has made goods and services accessible at our fingertips. So for someone who would rather save their money, choosing a partner who can't help but spend is problematic.

We live in a world today where people are mixing more now than ever. With the ease of travel and people migrating to different countries, the inter-mingling of cultures and beliefs are inevitable.

This can make finding a partner more difficult so the important thing is to be clear about who you are and feel secure on that. Another misguided belief that some people in relationships hold is that they are built on compromise. While compromise will become a necessary option in your relationship, it should not be the basis on which you build your union. If you are compromising most of the time, it means your needs are not being met and that's an unhappy situation. Instead, make compromise something that happens less frequently. Don't look for someone to complete you, instead, find someone who complements you and that you can share your life and passions with. Have fun and stay sexy!

Question

Dear Dr Sexy,

My boyfriend forgot my birthday and I am so upset. He says he doesn't celebrate birthdays because he thinks it's a regular day. I do nice things for him on his birthday. So I don't think it's unfair to expect him to recognise my birthday. I don't want to leave him but this is a problem for me. What should I do?

Lyn, Red Hills

Dear Lyn,

Special occasions are not always special to everyone. It's important for you to let your boyfriend know that your birthday is a special day and you want him to share in it. If he cares, even though he doesn't celebrate birthdays, he will make the effort to make you happy. This is something that you will have to be clear on and not just expect that he will do it because you were nice to him on his birthday. Good luck.

Stay sexy,

Dr Sexy