Dear Pastor

I hope all is well with you and your family. I read your column almost every day online and I like the responses you give most of the times. I always wanted to write to you but I never had anything to write about, but now I do.

I have been a Christian for most of my life. I am not as rooted and grounded in Christ as I would want to be.

I am 24 years old. I got involved with a man at my workplace without knowing that he only wanted a one-night stand. He was the last person I was expecting that from. I am so hurt. I cried and cried and cried some more. To make matters worse, I have to see him every day.

I have had low self-esteem issues since I started high school. Sometimes I get really depressed and don't see the point of living. Now this is just another problem to add to my baggage. I don't talk to anyone about my problems, so no one knows how I feel. Persons say I am always looking sad. That's how I feel most times.

When I get depressed I am afraid of what I might do to myself because it is hard for me to see beyond that feeling. I am tired of feeling mistreated, used and abused. I need a friend to talk to. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I need help, please.

Depressed

Dear Depressed,

I suggest that you get help to deal with your low self-esteem. As you know from experience, it can hinder you from making progress. Some people believe that they are good for nothing and that others are much brighter and smarter than they are. I am going to tell you that you need to work on yourself and to learn to conquer problems.

You believe that you are a failure, but you are not. I want you to start putting your confidence in God to help you to overcome your feelings of loneliness. If you trust God and change your thinking you would become very happy and successful because God's love is limitless. God's love gives everybody who is willing to embrace it the reassurance of hope.

Dr Norman Vincent Peale wrote that he carries with him the words of James Dillet Freeman, "The light of God surrounds me; the love of God enfolds me; the power of God protects me; the presence of God watches over me; wherever I am, God is."

I repeat, work on yourself. Not everybody would like you but in your heart you know that you are loved by the greatest lover of all, the Lord Jesus Christ. There is no problem that cannot be solved by Jesus. Even when you feel powerless remember that God is always there. He is our refuge and strength and the very present help in good times and bad times.

You are worried because of the relationship you had with this co-worker. You wanted a permanent relationship but he was just playing around. You don't want a man who is not serious. Therefore, what has happened is bothering you. To move on you have to consider this man as dead. In your mind, I want you to bury him in Dovecot or Meadowrest Garden. Whenever you see him at work consider him a walking dead. And remember that, "Problems are an essential and necessary ingredient of life."

I will be praying for you. Keep in touch.

Pastor