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December 19, 2014
Star Tell Me Pastor



 

Fathered by my aunt's husband

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 and do not have children but I have had men in my life. the one I have now, I do not love. Men have hurt me but women have, too.

My father was married to my aunt (my mother's sister), but had a relationship with my mother for years. during the time he was sleeping with my mother, she had two other guys seeing her. People used to tell my aunt her husband (my father) was sleeping with my mother, but she said it wasn't true. She said those people were just troublemakers.

When I was 11, I saw my mother and father having sex. she warned me not to tell anybody because she knew I had seen them. I don't respect my mother. She registered me in another man's name but that man has never accepted me as his child. When I was to do my Caribbean Examination Council examinations, my mother told me to ask my father. I went to my aunt's husband (the man people say is my father and who I resemble). he paid for every subject. I asked him if he was my real father and he said, "Things do happen sometimes."

My mother tried to beat me because I had asked him if he was my real father, but I ran and told her that the truth is the truth. Now my mother and my aunt are not on speaking terms because she found out that her husband and my mother had been sleeping together for years. Now my mother is blaming me but even to this day, every chance she gets, she goes with my father.

I have a bad mother and a bad father. How could I be a good girl to any man?

T.J

Dear T.J.,

You don't have to walk in the footsteps of your mother or father. You are responsible for the things you do and the life you live. Some persons may find it easy to condemn your mother. without question, she has been careless. She could have said no to her brother-in-law. He, too, could have said, "Let's keep the relationship clean. Let us not go to bed." Both have been immoral.

How can your mother relate to her sister after having an intimate relationship with her husband for so many years? she knew that it was your father who impregnated her. giving you another man's name was just a sham.

You know the truth and, though you are angry, your mother should be respected as mother. you must impress on her to bring this relationship to an end. she is under moral obligation to beg her sister pardon for having an affair with her husband. This has to be done for reconciliation.

You are only 20. You should not be moving from man to man. If you believe you must have a boyfriend, it should be a man you love. Therefore, end the relationship with your present boyfriend because you do not love him.

You have my blessings.

Pastor

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