Cameika Holness, a Re-Birth Project parent participant seeks clarification from Dr Hixwell Dougla after his presentation on conflict management at the Caenwood auditorium recently. - Contributed photos

works with inner-city parents on conflict resolution

Equipping parents with effective parenting skills could be a powerful strategy in managing conflict especially among at-risk youth.

Working with parent participants at the Re-Birth Project recently, Dr Hixwell Douglas, assistant chief education officer in the Special Education Unit in the education ministry said he noted three main areas in his sessions on conflict management with the inner-city parents. These included: major parenting skills deficit, parents' lack of empathy for what children are internalising and even ignorance about the importance of modelling positive behaviours.

"Conflict is a part of parenting. If you can learn how to speak, note differences in tones; listen and identify triggers as well as feel with the children, then we can teach the children tolerance and standards. If in the parenting role we model respect, good conversations and speech, the children will do it themselves. Additionally when parents understand the root causes of behaviours displayed, they will be better able to manage conflicts," Dr Douglas explained.

"In the first staging of the project, conflict resolution was just one of the topics over the nine-week programme. But after meeting with the schools in planning this phase, we realised there was a grave and urgent need to reinforce the lesson, for both the students and parents," Michelle Cunningham, programme director & co-founder, Re-Birth Project said.

In the two-part conflict management workshop, Re-Birth Project co-founder Melody Cammock-Gayle, said much emphasis had to be given in this particular area. "With the increased reports of fights, expulsions, and suspensions, we are seeing the need to provide both children and adults with actionable solutions to managing disagreements that end badly. We have to reduce the craziness in our schools and homes by reinforcing healthy and doable conflict management methods. Parents also need to be taught to listen to their children, prevent miscommunication, know the signs of mental/neurological challenges e.g. ADHD, autism, bipolar disorder, paranoia, other, which can present as poor behaviour, eliminate name-calling and degrading descriptions, practice mediation in their homes and personal lives, plus model appropriate behaviours before their children," Cammock-Gayle said.

"You can't preach what you don't know. The parents didn't pay attention to much of the post- traumatic and cultural matters their children experience which shape their behaviour. On top of that, parents thought it was okay to use the rough approach. Most believe it was okay to be high-handed, coarse and violent instead of engage in conversation to deal with conflict. Using healthy conversation to clarify issues can help children to learn to talk it out, express their feelings and not fight it out," Dr Douglas said.

In commending the programme, the crisis intervention counsellor suggested that the organisers involve more parents in the project as well as train some parents to become facilitators and trainers in their communities. "I like the concept of the Re-Birth Project, the idea that you bring children and parents together, yet separately, from an area that sometimes they don't get a chance to talk. Children who go through all the violence they experience daily need to have parents who understand," Dr Douglas said.

He further explained, that conflict is not always negative but also offers opportunities for learning, growth and development. "It may be bad, but you can learn from it. Learn from it and use as a tool for future action," he explained.

Currently in phase two, the Re-Birth Project was launched last March as an intervention initiative for at-risk youth from the Norman Manley and Tivoli Gardens high schools. The programme endorsed by the Ministry of Education and the National Parenting Support Commission, is aimed at building resilience, reducing delinquency and inspiring aspiration among select youth 14-17 while equipping their parents with the skills and resources for better parenting.