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April 20, 2015
Star Tell Me Pastor



 

He is a little peeping Tom


Dear Pastor,

I am in distressed. I am a widow and I have been in this state for two years. Before my husband died, he told me that he knew he was going to die and I should consider getting married again. He left me a house and his insurance policy was used to bury him. He had only one son, who did not care about him. It took me a while to get over his death. His best friend and I became very close. He ran around and helped me. He did all my business for me and we became intimate.

He has three children with three different women. His last child is a boy. I took the boy and was sending him to school. He is 12. He calls me 'auntie'. He has his own room and nobody is bothering him. Pastor, what he has done caused me to feel so ashamed and now my mind has turned away from him. His father and I sleep together. We don't plan to get married as yet, but we may do so in the future.

What this young boy has done to me is so terrible. I am ashamed to mention it to you. His bedroom is next to our bedroom and the reason why I made him stay in that room is to make sure that he is in bed and not out in the living room on his computer or his cell phone. He is doing fairly well in school.

Would you believe that this dirty boy was peeping on me for a long time and I did not even know it? He has pictures of me while I was in my room shaving my private parts and twice while I was having sex with his father. When I saw the pictures, especially the one when I was shaving, I cried. The little boy saw everything of me.

We don't know who he showed the pictures. He said he didn't show anybody but we don't believe him. I told his father that I do not want him to stay here again, but he is begging me to let him stay. As a father and a counsellor, I want you to tell me what I should do.

S.K.

Dear S.K.,

I would suggest that you tell his father that he should take this young man to live with his biological mother. It would take a long time for you to feel comfortable having him around. You would be nervous and wondering when will he take other pictures. It is mighty unfortunate that at the age of 12 this young man choose to take pictures of you while you were in your bedroom taking care of yourself and when you were in your intimate moments with his father. He is so totally out of order. It would take you a very long time for you to overcome and forgive him for what he has done.

Therefore, I repeat, this young man should be sent home to live with his mother, and if that is not feasible, his father should board him out with another relative. He had a grand opportunity to live with you in a very comfortable environment but he has blown it. He is young and should be forgiven. But he is not too young to understand or to learn that he should be punished for the wrong that he has done.

His father has to counsel him and I suggest that the father should make an appointment to see a family counsellor with him. I want to say one final word to you. I know you are embarrassed because this young man saw what he should not have seen; but you were not careless. You were in your room and you did not expect this young man to be peeping at you. And even if he peeped on you, you didn't expect him to take pictures.

I hope that that will not prevent you from loving his father and for marrying him because his father should not be blamed either.

Pastor

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