Dear Pastor,

I am 30 and have a male friend. He is married, but he likes me. I know his wife. They have four children. She is not treating him well, so he comes to me for dinner. He has to pass my house before he gets home, so he stops and eats. He has been doing that for the past two years.

Before he started having dinner at my house, he looked skinny, but since having my good food, he has put on weight. People tell him that I tied him. This is foolishness. The only thing I have done is to feed him well. I have a man who lives abroad and I told him about this man. We have an open relationship. He told me he is involved with someone else also, but I am his bona fide woman.

This man wants to leave his wife, but because of his children, he is not ready. I have $400,000 saved by him and if he should die, I will not give that up. I would keep it for myself because his wife doesn't know how to treat hm. She used to talk to me, but since people told her I am having an affair with her husband, she stopped. She is said I am like termite, eating out her husband.

This man does not sleep at my house and when it comes to sex, I only give it to him once a week. It is so good, it keeps him for the entire week. I know you will say I am not a good woman, but I am good, that's why he is with me. I didn't ask him to bring his money to me. He did that on his own. Don't bother yourself to chastise me. It won't change anything.

B.R.

Dear B.R.,

I don't have to chastise you. You know you are not a good woman, so I don't have to tell you. If you were a good woman, you wouldn't try to take away another woman's man or boast about it. If you were a good woman, you would have some shame, but you don't. If you were a good woman, you wouldn't take the man's money and bank it in your name and declare that if he should dies, you won't give the money to his wife. Yes, he gave you the money, but a good woman would hand the money over to his family, considering he has four children. You are not a good woman.

People say you have tied this man. Well, that tying thing is foolishness. What you have done is use food, among other things, to hold him. This is not your man. You are using him as your spare tyre. That is why you have sex with him once a week and are bragging about it. Talk about a 'good woman!'

Your man friend who is in America knows you are with this man. He too is no good. He knows you are sucking the life out of this married man and he can eat the man's labour through you. I hope one day this man will wake up and come to realise he shouldn't trust you. You are a terrible, wicked woman.

I challenge you to give the money back and encourage him to put it in the bank. He can put the names of his wife and eldest child on the account. You have him under your thumb, but remember, it's not going to go on forever. One day he will come to realise he has been a fool. I wish that day would be today.

Pastor