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August 4, 2015
Star Tell Me Pastor



 

My fiancée's mom wants to give us a bath

Dear Pastor,

I am 26 and in love with a young woman whom I have known from the time we were in high school. She and I separated briefly because I went to the US and she went on to college. Unfortunately, she got pregnant and had to do an abortion because she was not prepared for a child and I was not in a position as yet to be a good father. I was still studying in America and was doing odd jobs to get pocket money. My parents were helping me to pay my fees, but I couldn't expect them to take on the responsibility of taking care of a baby. And my girlfriend was too ashamed to carry the pregnancy. Her mother is a very spiritual woman.

Now I am back and we have started to live together. I am having a concern because this girl is very close to her mother. We have set the date for the wedding. Her parents are going to help to pay for the reception, but her mother said that she would like to give the both of us a spiritual bath together. I asked my girlfriend what is that for and she said it is to protect us. I thought it was a big joke, but my girlfriend believes in her mother and is insisting that we go one early Sunday morning to get this special bath.

I was telling one of my friends what my girlfriend said and he said that mothers don't give bath unless you take off all your clothes because the clothes may absorb the oil they will use. I don't want to lose my girlfriend, but at the same time I don't see myself before my mother-in-law naked. I told her she could go and have her mother bathe her, but I am not interested and she is saying that she would be right there with me, all of us together so I shouldn't object. Pastor, I am afraid of these things. What do you think?

S.P

Dear S.P.,

I am with you. I see no reason you should stoop to this nonsense. Evidently, your fiancée comes from a background where people believe in obeah or they believe that they have special gifts that they can administer to keep evil spirits and bad luck away. The mother may even have in mind that what she would do to you is to hold you and tie you so that you will not be able to leave her daughter.

To be very frank with you, sir, if your girlfriend insists that you have to follow what your mother-in-law is saying before you marry her, you ought to tell her that you prefer to end this relationship now. Anything that happens to the family, she is likely to say that it is your neighbour, your friends or somebody who doesn't like you who is trying to destroy you. You are entering a very mixed-up family. I hope you will use common sense.

Pastor

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