I am 25 and pregnant. This is my first child. I got married two years ago. My husband is 23 old. He is the only child of his parents. We live at his parents' house because they have lots of room. The house is large so we are not a bother to them and they are not a bother to us. My husband's mother takes me as her daughter. She is so excited about having a grandchild. She told me she is going to spoil the child.

My reason for writing to you is that since my husband realised that I am pregnant he is reluctant in having sex with me. I asked him if he is having sex with anybody else and he said no. I do not believe that he is and sometimes I do want to have sex and he tells me that it would hurt the baby. My husband is not very educated but he is loving and caring and I would not give him up for anybody else. He reads your column every day, so please say a word for me. Whatever you say this man will do. We all love you, Pastor. Please answer me in the Star.

N.K

Dear N.K.,

You should ask your husband to accompany you to see your doctor. I am sure the doctor would assure him that having sex with you would not hurt the baby. Some couples have sex up to six months of the woman's pregnancy. Some doctors suggest that sex may not interfere with the pregnancy until the woman is about her fifth month.

After that time, the couple should learn how to do different positions to have a fulfilling sexual enjoyment. And the husband should learn how to manually stimulate his wife's clitoris.

Your husband and you should seek to find books that would help you to understand what are these important positions that you may practise. There are many positions but I would not attempt to explain them here.

Please understand that your husband's reluctance in having sex with you is not that he does not love you or that he does not want to have sex with you but he genuinely feels that he may hurt the baby. The truth is, he wouldn't. He needs to be assured of that. Please understand that some men do not find their wives attractive during pregnancy.

Therefore, your husband might be struggling with that problem. I do not know, but whatever he might be going through, he needs to understand that having sex with you will not at all hurt the baby.