Dear Pastor,

I am 19. I was living with my boyfriend's friend for almost a year. Everything was going fine until one night I posted a picture on Facebook. A guy commented on the picture, saying I was beautiful. I replied, "Thanks dear."

My boyfriend got jealous and told me to take it down. I said, "No, because nothing is wrong with what I said".

He became angry and started a fight. We fought a couple more times after that.

He is aggressive and doesn't have any reasoning ability. He doesn't want my friends and family to communicate with me often. He finds a problem with everything. He treats me well. He gives me anything I want. I love him so much and, I want it to work.

He usually tells me to leave his home whenever we have an argument. I have finally left and he wants me to come back.

What should I do, pastor? He said he has changed and is attending to counselling.

S.A.

Dear S.A.,

You have an immature boyfriend. Why should he fuss over a picture you posted and comments made?

You are correct. He is a jealous young man. It is not only immaturity, but he feels insecure.

A mature man would simply laugh at that. Why would you engage in a fight over such a simple matter? Ignorance saturates this relationship but I suppose I can look at you as young with a lot to learn.

You did not give the age of your boyfriend but I suspect he might be about your age or a little older. You are mistaken in believing because he gave you whatever you asked, he is good. How can he be good if you often engaged in fights? If this man cannot reason, that means his standard of education is limited and he needs help. He can improve the way he thinks by reading, listening to the news and taking courses.

It is because his education is limited why he believes he has the right to tell you to take down the picture you posted on facebook.

You have a right to leave him. He went much too far by insisting your relatives and friends should not talk to you often. Again, I say he is immature. Let this be a lesson to you. At the age of 19, you are better off not living with a man. You can't handle relationship problems. Give yourself some time to grow and mature. You will make wiser choices.

I would not suggest you return to this young man, at least, not for now.

Pastor