Dear Pastor,

I am 23. I hope you can help me. I have a two-year-old son. His father is living in America. He sends money to support his son.

I came to Kingston to seek a job. I was staying with a friend. She and I went to school together. She was living with her boyfriend. he bothered me for sex. I was afraid to tell his girlfriend because I didn't want to cause trouble between them.

I was expecting a job but when I went they told me the position was filled.

My girlfriend told me I could have stayed with them for a while but would have to contribute to food. I told my child's father. He told me things were not going well with him but he would have soon sent me some money.

One day her boyfriend told me if I had sex with him my friend wouldn't know and he would give me the money for food. I told him no, I couldn't do that. He said I was a fool because she would tell me to leave. i eventually told him whenever we had the chance we could.

I was hardly alone in the house but the chance came when my girlfriend left to go to the supermarket. I didn't think about anything. I was in the bathroom having my shower. Her boyfriend came in and said, "We have a chance now".

I told him I was afraid. He took off his clothes and started to fondle me. He pushed me back to the wall and inserted his penis into me. As we started to have sex, I heard my girlfriend's voice calling him to help her. He didn't answer. She came in and asked where he was and asked for me. I answered, saying I was in the bathroom. The bathroom door cannot be locked. You can only close it. She pushed the door,saw me and asked for him. He was behind the shower curtain. She saw him.

Pastor, I lied. I told her he was trying to rape me. He said he was in there to fix the pipe. She asked him if he had to be naked to fix the pipe. She started to punch him and turned on me. I had to repeat, "No, he came in on me."

Threatened

My girlfriend went crazy and said she was going to kill both of us. He told her she shouldn't do me anything because he was the one who was wrong. She told me to pack and leave, so I left. He said he would leave instead. She called my boyfriend in America and told him. I had to lie to my boyfriend. He believed me.

They have broken up and he wants us to be friends. I don't hate him because I agreed to have sex with him. do you believe I should have a relationship with him? I am hoping to hear from you.

B.W.

Dear B.W.,

You told your girlfriend a half-truth. I understand how you felt. You did not want to tell her the whole truth. The whole truth would have been that her boyfriend was always asking you for sex, and you finally consented. While you were having your shower, he used the opportunity to come in and have sex with you. He did not rape you. The sex was consensual. If you had told her you had agreed, she would have considered you a whore.

I understand you needed the money but this guy could have given you the money without having sex with you, or he could have given you a loan.

You deceived his girlfriend and lowered your standard with a man who used your vulnerability to have sex with you. You made a big mistake. I consider him a very wicked man.

Asked to leave

Your girlfriend has not fully believed the story you both told her. She could not stand your continuing to stay there, knowing you were having sex with her man. That's why she asked you to leave.

She ended the relationship with her boyfriend because the incident was too much to bear. She believes you both are at fault. she is correct.

If you were to continue the relationship with this man, your child's father, with whom you are still having a relationship, would have good reason to not having anything to do with you in the future. He would know, for sure, that all you said were lies. I suggest, therefore, that you should have nothing to do with this man. Stay away, as far as you can, from him.

Pastor