Dear Pastor,

I listen to your show every night. My wife is a nurse. When she is on duty, I am here alone and I know some of your callers well. You are doing a good job. Keep it up. As I listen to you, I am working on my computer. My wife and I do not have children and life is not very good between us at the moment. I am trying my best to be faithful to my wife, but she continues to accuse me of having other women. I have never actually cheated, but it has crossed my mind, especially when my wife raises the matter. If I go out, she questions me. When she is at home, if I stay home, she wants to know why I am not going out. It is very hard to please her except when we are in bed. She is also very superstitious. If a bat is in the house, she says that one of her relatives is visiting her. If she hears squeaky noises, she cuddles up to me and says she is afraid. If I take any food home from my relatives, she does not partake of it because she seriously thinks that everybody wants to hurt her. I don't know what to do with this woman. And the problem is, pastor, I love her. If I did not love her, I would have left her long ago. Please, I would love to hear your comments.

S.A.

Dear S.A.,

Your wife does not trust you, but you have not said whether you have done anything in the past to cause her to mistrust you. I know sometimes a man does not have to do anything to cause a woman to mistrust him. Some women believe that all men are cheaters and cannot be trusted. They don't have to have any reason or any personal experience with their men. If it is a man, he is not trustworthy. But let us be fair. There are some men who do not trust women either. They believe that all women are 'ginals' and gold-diggers and cannot be trusted. Some women have even gone to the extent of hiring private detectives to watch their men. What a waste of money! If this woman is also superstitious, I would think that she needs professional help. She doesn't trust anybody and that is very unfortunate. She will end up being a loner. Nobody will want to be around her, and already you are becoming very frustrated and after a while, you might be tempted to end the relationship with this woman. So before this marriage deteriorates further, I suggest that both of you make an appointment to see a family counsellor.

Pastor